Rewrite of "Mango," by Lisa Morrison and Nigel Parry
A writer for The Oregonian newspaper in Portland truly mangled his review of
Bruce Cockburn's 28 July 2000 performance at the Oregon Zoo. While his words were kind, it was pretty obvious that he didn't have much of a clue of what he was writing about. Among other mistakes in the article, he retitled Cockburn's "Mango" as "Mangled." Being an amateur gardener, after I read the review, I couldn't help but think of the many times I truly had mangled myself in the garden, stepping on tools or tripping over a hose. After having a good laugh about this in an e-mail conversation, Nigel and I set to work to write the ultimate "Mangled".
She got mangled in her garden
She was bruised as can be.
She got mangled in her garden
Also broke her knee...
Humid glistening sweaty tool
It would end in tears, you knew it
Shining poking metal bits
The girl she fell and chewed it
She got mangled in her garden
By the cactus tree
She got so mangled in her garden
That the ambulances were three
They carried her through the glistening gate
Their hearts began to pound
Straining against her ponderous weight
They dropped her to the ground.
Before you get tangled in your garden
Think for some minutes - two or three
To avoid getting mangled in your garden
Hire a gardener, like me