-- If I Had A Bacon Sandwich --


Rewrite of "If I Had A Rocket Launcher," by Richard Paterson

Here comes the harassed waiter
Second time tonight
Everybody's watching
Can he get the order right?
As he journeys to my table
I let out this heartfelt cry
Can I have a Bacon sandwich?
With some ketchup on the side

I don't believe in low fat butter
And I don't believe in bran
I don't believe in roughage
Makes me head straight for the can
But when I read about Cholesterol
It just makes me want to sigh
If I had a Bacon sandwich
I surely would not die

I've got to open my mouth
Start to evangelise
How this glorious bacon sandwich
Just clogs up my insides
Served with triple strength expresso
Gets me ready for the day
If I Had a Bacon Sandwich
I would not feel this way

So here I am in this cheap diner
Dollar 99 to stay
And eat my breakfast this fine morning
And then go on my way
Arteries are desperate
As my veins they start to fry
If I had a Bacon Sandwich
This son-of-a bitch will die


This page is part of The Cockburn Project, a unique website that exists to document the work of Canadian singer-songwriter and musician Bruce Cockburn. The Project archives self-commentary by Cockburn on his songs and music, and supplements this core part of the website with news, tour dates, and other current information.